The Latest Decalogue
Currency worship
Clough flips the commandment's intent—the original banned idols, but Victorian capitalism makes money the only acceptable graven image.
Strategic attendance
Church becomes social networking. The shift from 'serve God' to 'serve to keep the world thy friend' turns worship into reputation management.
Officiously
Legal term meaning 'meddlesome' or 'overzealous.' Don't murder, but don't be annoyingly helpful about saving lives either—perfect Victorian restraint.
Cost-benefit adultery
Pure economic calculation replaces moral reasoning. 'Advantage rarely comes of it' treats the commandment as bad business advice, not sin.
Cheat vs. steal
Stealing is crude and illegal. Cheating—through business, contracts, legal loopholes—is how respectable Victorians actually extracted wealth.
Tradition approves
Final punch: 'tradition' (often invoked to defend Christian morality) now blesses the coveting that drives capitalism. The commandment eats itself.