Elizabeth Barrett Browning

The Lady's Yes

"Yes" I answered you last night;
  "No!" this morning, Sir, I say!
Colours, seen by candle-light,
  Will not look the same by day.

Tabors

Small drums used for dancing—this is a ball or party scene, not an intimate proposal. The music and crowd matter.

When the tabors played their best,
  Lamps above, and laughs below—
Love me sounded like a jest,
  Fit for Yes or fit for No!
Call me false, or call me free—
  Vow, whatever light may shine,
No man on your face shall see
  Any grief for change on mine.
Yet the sin is on us both—
  Time to dance is not to woo—
Wooer light makes fickle troth—

Fickle troth

"Troth" is a pledge or engagement. She's saying proposals made lightly get broken lightly—the casual setting undermines the vow.

Scorn recoils

If he scorns her for changing her mind, it rebounds on him—he's the one who proposed at a dance party instead of seriously.

  Scorn of me recoils on you!
Learn to win a lady's faith
  Nobly, as the thing is high;

As the thing is high

Marriage is "high"—sacred, elevated, serious. She's contrasting this with the low setting of the party.

Bravely, as for life and death—
  With a loyal gravity.

Festive boards

Dining tables at the party. "Lead her from" means take her away from the social scene to somewhere serious.

Lead her from the festive boards,
  Point her to the starry skies,
Guard her, by your truthful words,
  Pure from courtship's flatteries.
By your truth she shall be true—
  Ever true, as wives of yore—

Wives of yore

Idealized past wives, supposedly constant and faithful. She's promising permanence—but only if he earns it properly.

And her Yes, once said to you,

SHALL be Yes

The capitalization emphasizes permanence. A properly won "Yes" becomes irrevocable—unlike this flippant party proposal.

  SHALL be Yes for evermore.
Source Wikipedia Poetry Foundation

Reading Notes

The Setting Makes the Argument

CONTEXT Published in 1844, this poem addresses Victorian courtship conventions where ballrooms and parties were primary marriage markets. Barrett Browning is diagnosing a structural problem: proposals made in frivolous settings produce frivolous commitments.

Notice the physical details of the party: "tabors" (drums), "lamps above," "laughs below," "festive boards." She's not just saying the mood was wrong—she's showing how the entire sensory environment undermines seriousness. When drums are playing and everyone's laughing, "Love me sounded like a jest." The proposal literally couldn't be heard as serious in that acoustic space.

The central metaphor is lighting: "Colours, seen by candle-light, / Will not look the same by day." This isn't about her feelings changing randomly—it's about accurate perception. Candlelight at parties was famously flattering and distorting. She's saying you can't make permanent decisions in temporary lighting. The refrain repeats this exact point, hammering home that the problem is the setting, not female fickleness.

The phrase "Time to dance is not to woo" is the thesis. She's separating social entertainment from life-altering commitments. Victorian balls mixed these purposes constantly, and she's arguing they shouldn't be mixed. Dancing is for fun; wooing requires "loyal gravity."

Who Bears the Blame

The poem's rhetorical move is to shift responsibility. She anticipates being called "false" (unfaithful, a liar) and preempts it: "Yet the sin is on us both." Both parties failed by treating a marriage proposal as party banter.

But notice where the instructional section is directed: "Learn to win a lady's faith." She gives him a complete manual—"Nobly," "Bravely," "Lead her from the festive boards," "Point her to the starry skies," "Guard her, by your truthful words." The burden of creating the right conditions falls on the wooer, not the wooed.

The conditional promise is crucial: "By your truth she shall be true." Her constancy depends on his seriousness. This reverses the typical Victorian anxiety about female fickleness—she's saying women's reliability is a response to men's approach. If you propose at a dance party, you get a party answer. If you propose "as for life and death," you get a lifetime answer.

"Pure from courtship's flatteries" distinguishes between social performance (flattery, the language of balls and flirtation) and genuine commitment ("truthful words"). She's asking him to exit the social script entirely and speak to her as an individual, not as a lady at a party.